Supporting neurodivergent children through play
- Jul 2
- 5 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
Key points:
Reframing play: support the joy, and the skills will follow
Play can look different for everyone, of any age
You’ll find toys for all types of play at toy libraries
Select toys that embrace interests and foster connections
On this page
(click on headings below to jump to section)
↓ Reframing Play: support the joy, and the skills will follow
↓ There is no one right way to play
↓ Play and all the forms it can take
↓ Utilising toy libraries to explore and trial toys
↓ Choosing which toys to borrow
↓ Choosing toys that support connection
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Reframing Play: support the joy, and the skills will follow
Many parents and caregivers, choosing toys or planning play activities can come with pressure. Questions like “What skill will this teach?” or “How can I encourage more learning?” often shape the way we think about play.
For neurodivergent children, play might look ‘different’ to what you expect. Play does not need to be about fixing, correcting, or achieving specific milestones. Play is about connection and joy. It brings comfort and regulation to curious, busy minds.
There is no one right way to play
Every child experiences the world differently, and neurodivergent children often have unique interests, sensory preferences, communication styles, and ways of engaging with toys and people.
When we shift our focus from outcomes to experiences, play becomes more meaningful and supportive for both children and adults.
Children are more likely to engage in play when their interests and sensory needs are respected. This strengths-based approach allows children to explore and develop at their pace; through activities they already enjoy.
Play and all the forms it can take
When play is overly directed or focused on “correct” ways to interact, children may become overwhelmed or disengaged. Neurodivergent children may prefer repetitive play, sensory exploration, lining up toys, movement-based play, or deep focus on favourite interests. These are all valid forms of play! Allowing your child to take the lead on their play choices can assist in providing a supported environment for them to feel confident to expand on their ideas, take safe risks and experiment.
Play does not have to look imaginative, social, or structured to be meaningful. In fact, when children are supported to play in ways that feel natural to them, important developmental skills often emerge organically.
For one child, this might mean jumping into cushions, spinning, or water play. For another, it could be sorting their toy dinosaurs by colour, repeatedly opening and closing the doors on an activity board, or building towers over and over again. Details of the toys, or how they move or operate, might be of more interest than the ‘purpose’ of the toy itself. When we know what motivates a child in play, we can select specific toys that foster, and naturally expand on, their type of play.
Utilising toy libraries to explore and trial toys
Toy libraries are a wonderful valuable resource for families with neurodivergent children. They offer:
Access to a wide variety of toys at a low cost
A change to try toys before buying them
The chance to trial and rotate different toys regularly to maintain interest without the pressure of purchasing everything new
Access to Large toys, sensory products and other resources often recommended by speech physiotherapists and occupational therapy providers occupational therapists to support therapy goals at home
Opportunities to discover new interests and forms of play
Choosing which toys to borrow
Many adults start by checking a toy’s age recommendation. While safety warnings should always be followed, toys designed for younger children can still offer plenty of play value for older children through open-ended and imaginative play.
Your child may be drawn to brightly coloured, interactive toys often labelled as “baby toys”. This is completely okay. Children of all ages and abilities can enjoy these toys because they provide comfort, familiarity and fun, whether they are developing skills or revisiting favourite play experiences.
When selecting toys, focus less on the age range and more on:
Your child’s interests
Their sensory preferences
Their current skill level
Opportunities for fun, joy and connection
Choosing toys that support connection
Some children prefer independent play, while others enjoy shared experiences. Strong interests in favourite toys can sometimes make shared play more difficult, so it can be helpful to borrow toys that naturally encourage interaction.
Examples include:
Marble runs and ball runs
Building and construction sets
Dress-ups
Puppets
Soft play equipment
Water play resources
Rockers, swivel seats, and body wheels
Board games adapted to suit your child's needs
These toys make it easier for siblings, parents, and caregivers to join the fun without taking over.
It is also important to remember that you are your child's first toy. Simple games such as piggyback rides, peek-a-boo, chasey, rough-and-tumble play, and horsey rides create valuable opportunities for connection and enjoyment.
For neurodivergent children, strong focus on preferred toys can sometimes make it harder to engage in shared play. Choosing toys that encourage interaction or require some support from a caregiver or sibling can help build connection. Active toys such as swivel seats, rockers and body wheels are great examples, turning solo play into shared play experiences.
It is also important to remember that you are your child’s first toy. Simple games like piggyback rides, peek-a-boo and horsey rides create valuable opportunities for connection. Toy library items such as dress-ups, puppets and soft play blocks can add even more fun to these shared moments.
Supporting play in practice
Supporting autonomy in play means allowing children to explore toys and activities in their own way, without needing to redirect or change the purpose of the play.
This might look like:
Getting down to your child’s level and observing how they are already playing
Following their lead and copying their actions, sounds or dialogue words
Focusing on the types of play they already enjoy and feel comfortable with
Borrowing toys that match their current skill level rather than pushing beyond it interests and abilities
Pausing and waiting for moments where your child invites you into the play, — this could be a glance, gesture, bringing you an item, or a verbal invitation
Join, don’t direct: use gGentle suggestions instead of directing the play of how else the toy or game could be played, using phrases like “I wonder what would happen if…?” or “That looks like fun, could I try…?”
Allowing time for uninterrupted solo play, particularly after busy times of the day or multiple transitions
Supporting sensory needs: Children may seek or avoid different sensory experiences. Offering a variety of sensory, movement, and creative play opportunities allows children to engage in ways that feel comfortable and enjoyable
If your child doesn’t want you to join in
That’s ok too.
You can play alongside your child instead of with them. Use your own set of toys and enjoy the activity yourself. You might copy some of what they are doing or simply model another way to use the toy.
Toy libraries are for everyone. Consider borrowing something that interests you as well—a marble run, construction set, puzzle, or craft activity. When adults enjoy play too, it creates more opportunities for shared attention, connection, and conversation.
Creating the play for yourself! If your child doesn't want you to join in, that’s okay too. You can try playing beside them with your own set of toys. Mirror what they are doing, or model how you like to play. This could include borrowing toys for yourself at the toy library – perhaps a marble run, or a construction set. Toy libraries are a place for all ages and abilities, so next time you’re there, consider loaning something that fits your interests, too!
Further reading and resources
Raising Children Network
Autism: education, play & work
Play and autistic children
Structured play: new skills for autistic children
Playing with others: autistic children
Letting your child lead play: activities for children 0-6 years
Toys that support autistic strength
In this video Alice from Ocean Grove Speech Pathology shares what toys can support neurodivergent children available in her local Ocean Grove Toy Library.
